Getting ready:
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Dialysis
Well, it's been a couple of weeks. Every night around 10 I hook up to the machine. Sometimes I have alarms but so far they are from my exit care site and the dressing pinching the tube which means I have to "fix" it and carry on. and other than that it fills, dwells and drains 3 times every night.
I'm handling it but sometimes I'm scared about it. Every day is a new day fraught with worry, stress and trouble but I try hard not to worry about any of it. I'll deal with it when it hits me but I always have to be careful and mindful and pay attention and I think sometimes that is a real difficulty for me. I HOPE that I can stay on top of it. Is it the day when I can look back and say isn't it amazing the care I take of myself? I don't think it's today...I have ideas about what could happen and I freak myself out way too much if I think about them so I try not to. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Sometimes even a moment at a time if that's how you get through it. But...I am still alive and so far am still ok so I have to be grateful for that.
I'll post a couple of pics to show off my machine...and keep on keeping on.
I'm handling it but sometimes I'm scared about it. Every day is a new day fraught with worry, stress and trouble but I try hard not to worry about any of it. I'll deal with it when it hits me but I always have to be careful and mindful and pay attention and I think sometimes that is a real difficulty for me. I HOPE that I can stay on top of it. Is it the day when I can look back and say isn't it amazing the care I take of myself? I don't think it's today...I have ideas about what could happen and I freak myself out way too much if I think about them so I try not to. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Sometimes even a moment at a time if that's how you get through it. But...I am still alive and so far am still ok so I have to be grateful for that.
I'll post a couple of pics to show off my machine...and keep on keeping on.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Tube in
On Wed. I had my tube sorted but for now until Mon it is covered up! My tummy is itchy but it's ok otherwise...
Thursday, September 11, 2014
What Can I EAT?
At this point I don't have much of an appetite anyways but I am so frustrated every time I go shopping. This week I bought grapes, berries and make the usual turkey sandwiches and that's pretty much it. I feel hungry but don't have much that interests me to eat. :(
I did manage to eat 2 eggs in toast but really as they have been for a long while they are YUCK!!
I think I might just go out and buy a dozen donuts and make myself sick!!!
(not really) ...I just wish I liked food better right now.
I did manage to eat 2 eggs in toast but really as they have been for a long while they are YUCK!!
I think I might just go out and buy a dozen donuts and make myself sick!!!
(not really) ...I just wish I liked food better right now.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Still Getting Through It...
It's soon going to be my birthday and I'm having a party. Nothing fancy obviously but a few friends and some good food. Most exciting I'm having margaritas! :D
I'm still ok. Most days are hard but I try not to worry about it or think about it too much.
It will be what it will be. I struggle to remember that and take each day as a gift and a treasure (which is sometimes difficult for me). I don't know if I'll make it back to clinic or maybe past it again and just waiting for the next one or if things will go bad and I'll have to go to the hospital and start dialysis but whatever happens will be ok.
Today I am sure that it will. I like my Drs. and nurses and I'm sure they will all take good care of me so somehow I'll handle it.
I will be ok.
I'm still ok. Most days are hard but I try not to worry about it or think about it too much.
It will be what it will be. I struggle to remember that and take each day as a gift and a treasure (which is sometimes difficult for me). I don't know if I'll make it back to clinic or maybe past it again and just waiting for the next one or if things will go bad and I'll have to go to the hospital and start dialysis but whatever happens will be ok.
Today I am sure that it will. I like my Drs. and nurses and I'm sure they will all take good care of me so somehow I'll handle it.
I will be ok.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Clinic
Well I am home from clinic and trying to digest the latest news.
I know that my kidneys are failing and it will be soon time to start dialysis but I really thought I would have more time. :(
I have dropped to 12% function and over the next 6 weeks will somehow have to get my head ready to handle the reality that I live in.
It's not easy.
I want to wait until hubby is off work to go through this but I don't know if I'm going to make it until then.
We will see.
Whatever will happen will happen. I am sure I can handle this and I'm gonna figure it out. It might be hard sometimes though and I'm sure the monthly appts to dialysis will get stressful but somehow I'm gonna find my way.
In the meantime I am trying to get my head ready!!
I know that my kidneys are failing and it will be soon time to start dialysis but I really thought I would have more time. :(
I have dropped to 12% function and over the next 6 weeks will somehow have to get my head ready to handle the reality that I live in.
It's not easy.
I want to wait until hubby is off work to go through this but I don't know if I'm going to make it until then.
We will see.
Whatever will happen will happen. I am sure I can handle this and I'm gonna figure it out. It might be hard sometimes though and I'm sure the monthly appts to dialysis will get stressful but somehow I'm gonna find my way.
In the meantime I am trying to get my head ready!!
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