Night Cycler

Getting ready:

Ready:

Dialysis

Well, it's been a couple of weeks. Every night around 10 I hook up to the machine. Sometimes I have alarms but so far they are from my exit care site and the dressing pinching the tube which means I have to "fix" it and carry on. and other than that it fills, dwells and drains 3 times every night.
I'm handling it but sometimes I'm scared about it. Every day is a new day fraught with worry, stress and trouble but I try hard not to worry about any of it. I'll deal with it when it hits me but I always have to be careful and mindful and pay attention and I think sometimes that is a real difficulty for me. I HOPE that I can stay on top of it. Is it the day when I can look back and say isn't it amazing the care I take of myself? I don't think it's today...I have ideas about what could happen and I freak myself out way too much if I think about them so I try not to. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Sometimes even a moment at a time if that's how you get through it. But...I am still alive and so far am still ok so I have to be grateful for that.
I'll post a couple of pics to show off my machine...and keep on keeping on.

I Have Decided...

I have had some weeks of stress and worry and indecision about what to do.
Today hubby and I had an appt in home dialysis at Orillia Soldier's Memorial Hospital to be educated about PD dialysis. Originally I told mom and thought to myself that I would choose to use the night time cycler because it seems to be the least intrusive choice for my life and the way in which I prefer to live it. My diabetic nurse suggested Hemo might be better and wanted me to get a prepared by getting a fistula and asking the doctor about this. I didn't want a fistula...still don't actually but, immediately freaked out about it and did have a convo with Dr. where he suggested I lose 10 pounds and have a PD catheter buried so it would be ready for use when I get closer to the time of failure and dialysis. So I said ok and did manage to lose the weight but then expressed that I wanted more information so I could be sure  was making the correct choice for me at my last clinic appt. So we made today's appt. and went to speak to Jodi and learn about manual PD, connections, and the night time cycler machine. I could also learn about Hemo as well but after today I don't believe it is necessary. I'm pretty sure I can handle this. I'm pretty sure eventually it will become just as much a part of life and second hat to me as taking my insulin or aranesp shots (which I freaked out about and hated in the beginning as well) and I will do as I have always done. I will HANDLE it!
So next clinic appt. in June I will request appt for buried catheter and get prepared for kidney failure.
HOPEFULLY it will still be a long way off yet! ;) But, I will be READY and I feel much better about it.