Checking In

 Going along doing my thing, One Day At A Time.

Took a pic to share in case anyone is curious about the dialysis:

Because I have a graft (a loop graft) the needle on the right goes in at the top. It takes the blood out and runs it through the machine. Then the clean blood comes back in through the bottom needle and while I DO feel much better doing hemodialysis than I did doing PD dialysis, I'm always tired on dialysis days and I usually nap or at least laze around because standing up sometimes gives me a headache. My body feels achy and sore and really it shouldn't be a surprise because dialysis is like making your heart run a marathon...do I look like a person who WANTS to run a marathon?

I am grateful anyways for every day, even the dialysis days.

Keep breathing and cherish the moments!

Dialysis

Well, it's been a couple of weeks. Every night around 10 I hook up to the machine. Sometimes I have alarms but so far they are from my exit care site and the dressing pinching the tube which means I have to "fix" it and carry on. and other than that it fills, dwells and drains 3 times every night.
I'm handling it but sometimes I'm scared about it. Every day is a new day fraught with worry, stress and trouble but I try hard not to worry about any of it. I'll deal with it when it hits me but I always have to be careful and mindful and pay attention and I think sometimes that is a real difficulty for me. I HOPE that I can stay on top of it. Is it the day when I can look back and say isn't it amazing the care I take of myself? I don't think it's today...I have ideas about what could happen and I freak myself out way too much if I think about them so I try not to. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Sometimes even a moment at a time if that's how you get through it. But...I am still alive and so far am still ok so I have to be grateful for that.
I'll post a couple of pics to show off my machine...and keep on keeping on.